My Sun and Moon are in houses three and six. When I was a teenager, I covered my face with anything I could find-hair, makeup, or books. For most of my life I was unseen and unheard. The act of physically being seen is hard for me because it feels like something that isn’t supposed to happen to me. It’s much easier for me to function in online spaces where I am not seen. I also carry shame that is my shame about how my survival is complicit in capitalism and this shame is a reaction to my existence as a person who lives involved and despite ongoing, real violence.Ī lot of this shame has shown up in how I experience the act of being perceived. I carry shame that isn’t my shame, about the ways in which I have been sexualized and pathologized. I’ve experienced Saturn in the first house as deep shame. It’s the only planet that people see when they meet me. That is also my only fixed planet, my only air planet, and my only angular planet. I have a dignified Saturn in the first house.
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